All In

Several years ago I heard one of the most impactful sermons, given by the one and only Matt Troyer. He taught from 1 Kings 19:19-21, about when Elijah anoints Elisha to be his successor as prophet. If you’re not familiar with the passage, Elijah throws his cloak on Elisha while Elisha is plowing a field. This signifies that Elisha is to be Elijah’s successor. Elisha’s first response is to ask for time to say his goodbyes to his family since this anointing was unexpected. Elijah gives him permission to do so, but cautions Elisha to consider his calling first. Elisha’s response is to kill all his oxen and burn the wood from the plow to build a fire, in order to roast the meat and share it with the other plowmen. Matt put it much more eloquently than I’m about to, but the point of this illustration is that when God calls us to something, we should go all in, leaving no ties to our former life lest we be tempted to do this future calling half-heartedly.

A few years later, Scott and I had the chance to put that sermon into action. We had felt for some time that we should serve for a year abroad, but doing what we didn’t know. We had been following the work of International Justice Mission for several years at that point, so we decided to look into opportunities to serve with them. The more we investigated, the more strongly we felt that this was what the Lord was calling us to. In December 2015 we officially accepted a year-long fellowship with IJM in Chiang Mai, Thailand.

To be honest, at that point we had no idea what we were doing. We had three young children who had never lived outside of Indiana before, much less in a culture where they would be in the ethnic, religious, and linguistic minority. We had decided to homeschool the children during this time, which neither Scott nor I had ever done before, either as a student or teacher. But we felt that it was the Lord’s calling, so we did our research and tried to prepare as best we could.

About a week after we had completed all our fundraising and sold our house, my dream job, which I had been waiting for for years, became available. This was a crucial moment for me. We felt clear about the Lord’s leading, we had done all this preparation, but were we truly on board? Should we defer our fellowship in order to take this job?? We had been saying for months that Thailand was our calling, but this job might not be available again for years. This was the Lord saying to us, “Are you really all in? No matter what?” With a bit of hesitation, we said yes.

A few months into our time in Thailand, the office asked us to consider extending our one-year commitment to two years. To be clear, when we left Indiana our plan was to spend one year in Thailand and then go right back to our old lives in Terre Haute. Same jobs, same church, same school for our kids. We never expected to stay more than 12 months in Chiang Mai. But, once again, with prayer and consideration we felt that this was what the Lord was asking us to do. And once again, our plan was to spend a second year in Thailand, but then return to the same jobs, church, and school in Indiana in 2018. A couple weeks after we returned to Indiana for a brief furlough, Scott’s organization, with whom he had worked for ten years, closed unexpectedly. If I can be candid, this rocked me (Scott doesn’t get phased by much, even when the world is turning upside down). What about our plans? Lord, we thought you wanted us to stay in Thailand. Now we won’t have Scott’s salary to help support us. How can we raise even more money in just a few weeks?! Without this job, it is highly unlikely that we can stay in Terre Haute. Where will we go?? What will we do?? Everything will be different. And again, I heard the Lord say, “Are you all in? No matter what?” With even more hesitation, we said yes.

As always happens, the Lord showed us how He was working it for good in His time. We saw how extending our time in Thailand was important, because if we had not done that we would have returned to Terre Haute as planned, but Scott would have been unemployed shortly after. This unexpected turn of events also opened the door for Scott to pursue his Ph.D., which he had been considering for several years, but the timing had never been right. With no house, cars, or jobs in Terre Haute anymore, why not do it now?? After more prayer and consideration, Scott decided to apply to the University of Oxford. This was his dream school, working with some of the best in the world. But we absolutely couldn’t afford for him to go there without some kind of funding. Again, the Lord provided more than we could have hoped or imagined. Why do I ever doubt Him?

My birthday was earlier this month, and as I scrolled down my Facebook page to read all the kind birthday wishes, I noticed a question posed by FB: In ten years, I expect to…..  I laughed out loud! At the age of 18, I had a very detailed ten-year plan and knew exactly what each year of my life going forward was going to look like. That plan fell apart about five years later, and the intervening years have looked nothing at all what I expected. Now, at the age of 34, I barely know what the next six months are going to look like. However, the last two years have taught me to trust God more and to give Him control. What will the next ten years hold for us? We have no idea. But Lord, we’re all in.