The Kids Are Alright

As we prepared to move to Thailand, arguably my biggest concern was how the children would adjust to being in a new place away from their friends, family, and everything they knew. This was the first time for them to leave the United States, and while they have had a small exposure to foreign languages, they had never been immersed in a non-English speaking culture.

If you’ve ever considered moving to another country, or even just traveling to one, with small children, this has probably been a big concern of yours, as well. Let me just assure you that our children have adjusted wonderfully. I would argue that the transition has been the easiest on them! They take all the new things in stride and see the adventure in everything we do, even though most of it is different than what they’re used to. Of course, they miss their friends and family members that they’re used to seeing all the time. We try to make that easier by FaceTiming the grandparents regularly and emailing/texting/Facebooking other friends and family members when we really miss them. The time difference makes that a bit difficult since our kids are generally asleep when most children in the States are awake, and vice versa. However, we try to make it happen so that they can connect with their friends every once in awhile.

Anyway, here are some examples of how the kids are loving life abroad:

Trying out her camera at the White Temple in Chiang Rai

Enjoying our first high tea

E has been the most excited about Thailand from day 1. She couldn’t wait to see new things, learn the language, and try the food. She is doing part of our Thai tutoring with us each week, and is very enthusiastic about using her new-found knowledge. She’s doing wonderfully with homeschooling, also, and is a big helper for Scott while he tries to wrangle all three children all day.

B's first Thai haircut

Feeding the elephants

B was not nearly as excited about moving to Thailand, and I would say he is still the least enthusiastic about being here. It’s not that he doesn’t enjoy living here, it’s just that he still hasn’t quite grasped how far away we are from Indiana. He often asks to see or do things that would be easy to do in Indiana, but impossible to do from the other side of the world. He also doesn’t have a great concept of time, so when we told him we were going to live here for a year, he didn’t quite understand how long that truly was.

There are many things he loves about Thailand, though. There are lots of new animals that he gets to see up close often. (Geckos in our house! Chickens across the street! Elephants!!!) He loves spending all this extra time with Scott, E, and X. He and E played together well before, but now they’re truly buddies. B has also warmed up to Thai food. Before we moved here, he didn’t like rice, eggs, or shrimp (those are staples in Thai cuisine). He now eats all three willingly, and even requests them sometimes!

Loving his first tuk tuk ride

Taking a cruise on the Mekong River

As you can see by the above pictures, X is a dare devil! He loves to try new things and has really enjoyed trying new modes of transportation in Thailand. He’s also pretty happy to be with at least one of his parents and siblings every waking moment. He loves Thai food, especially dragon fruit!

If traveling or living abroad with small children is something you’re thinking about, do it! It really is a great time to expose them to new things, and they are still young enough, and not set in their ways enough, to embrace it. We’d love to answer any questions you have before you go!

Cultural Adjustment

We have lived in Thailand for more than two months! In some ways, that’s really hard to believe, but in other ways, it feels like we’ve been here for a long time. Like everyone who is experiencing a new culture for the first time, we’ve had a bit of a cultural adjustment. For those of you who have lived abroad before, this will be a familiar feeling.

[If you’ve never lived abroad or traveled abroad for an extended period of time, you might find this explanation of cultural adjustment from Princeton useful: https://www.princeton.edu/oip/practical-matters/Cultural-Adjustment.pdf ]

Every person experiences cultural adjustment (or as others might call it, culture shock) differently, and each period doesn’t necessarily have a defined beginning or end. You might also revisit a period briefly, depending on your situation. Hence, I can only tell you my experience as an individual. If you want to know how Scott and the kids feel, you’ll have to ask them!

For me, I think the honeymoon period was brief. I really love my job and could not be happier about working for IJM, but our house was a bit of a disappointment. It was pretty dirty when we moved in and the outdoor kitchen with oven, which I had been ecstatic about before we arrived, was not as awesome as I had expected. That, coupled with the fact that we did not have a vehicle for our first week here, made our living situation less than ideal. We also realized how tragically useless our Thai language knowledge was, and for me it felt a bit overwhelming to try to communicate with people when I had literally no idea what they were saying.

That paragraph might’ve been a little depressing, but trust me when I say we are so happy here! The point of this post is to say that Thailand is starting to feel like home. We have adopted the attitude that we are going to be here for a year, so we might as well learn to live here and not worry about the differences so much. Here are a few differences that we’ve embraced lately:

1. Bugs

In the States, I did not tolerate bugs in my home. If they wanted to live their life outside, that was fine, but once you entered my house you were probably not going to live very long. In Thailand, bugs are inevitable. The houses are not sealed quite as well so bugs can get in everywhere. There are also tiny ants that swarm your kitchen and dining room if you leave a speck of food anywhere (you can imagine how easily that happens at our house!). So, I’ve had to adjust to living with a few more bugs than I would like. We obviously don’t let them get into our food or bother the children, but I am less maniacal about killing every bug that I see.

2. Lack of Air Conditioning

Central air is just not a thing here. We have individual air conditioning units in our bedrooms, but the other parts of our house do not have air conditioning. The weather is not too hot right now, so this really is not a big deal (ask me again during hot season and I might have a different answer). It does mean, though, that we can’t set the temperature of our living spaces, and sometimes I am sweating just watching tv. Sweating while cooking or washing dishes is a given. Many restaurants and other public spaces do not have air conditioning, so you might be sweating while eating, shopping, or working. Again, it’s only in the 80s here, so no one is in danger of heat stroke, but it has pushed us out of our American 72-degree comfort zone.

3. Thai Language

Learning foreign languages is something I prided myself on before we moved to Thailand. I speak Spanish and have learned small amounts of Mandarin and Italian in the past with relative ease. However, Thai is a whole new ballgame. We tried to find some good resources before we moved for learning the language, but there just isn’t much available (or at least, we didn’t find it). Thai is a symbolic language, so reading signs was impossible. It’s also a tonal language, so you could say the same word with a different tone and have a totally different meaning. We didn’t have a Thai tutor our first month here, and it was very frustrating to try to communicate with other people when we had no idea what they were saying. As you can imagine, we resorted to a lot of hand gestures and grunts in the first few weeks! Now, however, we have an excellent Thai tutor and have begun to pick up the language. Admittedly, we are limited to conversations about food and shopping, but we have made a lot of progress.

4. Being Barefoot

In Thai culture, it is disrespectful to wear shoes indoors. This is particularly important in places like temples, but also applies to a person’s home. We don’t wear shoes at our house, which is not such a big change since we did the same in Indiana. My office also leaves their shoes outside, so I spend the vast majority of my day barefoot. I knew this would be the case before we came and I thought it would be weird. However, it now feels totally normal to teach without any shoes on. Sometimes I almost feel strange wearing shoes for more than ten minutes. :)

Elephant Nature Park

This weekend we visited the Elephant Nature Park in Mae Taeng District. It was an incredible experience! The Elephant Nature Park is a conservation park that rehabilitates elephants who have been abused or disabled. The elephants roam freely inside the park and can choose to do whatever activities they would like. All the elephants do have a mahout near them at all times, though, to make sure everyone is safe.

Our amazing day started with a walk through the park and meeting several of the elephant "families". Most of these families aren't biologically related, but they have chosen to live together as a herd. Then we fed an elephant a snack of watermelon, corn, squash, and cucumber. The kids loved it!

 

After lunch, we gave an elephant a bath! Since many of the elephants are disabled, they aren't able to go into the river on their own for a bath. It was a much muddier experience than we were anticipating, but still unbelievable!

It was such a great day observing the elephants and getting to interact with them. If you're ever in northern Thailand, this is a must-see!

This is the park's oldest elephant---she's 90!

Chiang Rai

Last Friday was a national holiday in Thailand, so I had the day off. We decided to use the opportunity to visit the neighboring province, Chiang Rai. It was beautiful and we had a great time! Here’s an overview of our trip:

Friday

We headed up Friday morning and ate a delicious lunch at Charin Garden Restaurant. It was suggested to us by one of my co-workers because they have homemade pie! Desserts like cake and pie are not very common here, so we were thrilled to eat some authentic pie. We even contemplated coming back on our way home. :)

After lunch we went to the White Temple (Wat Rong Khun). E has been looking forward to visiting here because it looks like something out of Frozen! It’s a relatively new temple with some contemporary paintings on the interior (e.g. Spiderman, a minion, George W. Bush, etc.).

Later that afternoon we went to Chiang Rai (the city). We stayed at a lovely guesthouse within walking distance of downtown. We ate a delicious dinner at Destiny Cafe (supports Destiny Rescue) and watched the clock tower show. In the evenings, at the top of every hour, the clock tower has a light show which ends with a lotus flower opening to reveal a golden treasure. The kids loved it!

Saturday

Saturday morning we drove up to the Golden Triangle, where the borders of Thailand, Myanmar, and Laos meet. The Mekong River separates the three countries. We took a river boat cruise along the Mekong to get a closer view of Myanmar, then stopped in Laos to do check out the local market. That made Laos the official second foreign country that our kids have visited!

Sunday

We spent Sunday at Singha Park, in the southern part of Chiang Rai Province. This park has over 3,400 acres, including fields, orchards, a tea plantation, zip lining, rock walls, restaurants, and animals. Unfortunately, it rained all day, so we didn’t get to see as much as we had hoped. Despite the rain, it was still a beautiful visit. We look forward to going back on a sunny day!

Real Life

I’ve been struggling for a few weeks to think of a good topic for a blog post. Life has been pretty “normal” here, and there haven’t been any big events that warrant a post. Here are a few small events that have made it feel less like a vacation and more like our real life:

Last Saturday I drove our car for the first time! You may or may not know that in Thailand, drivers drive on the left-hand side of the road, and the steering wheel is on the right-hand side of the car. Scott has been doing this flawlessly for weeks, but for me driving was a big deal. Granted, I only drove to the local grocery store next to our neighborhood, which required about 30 seconds of driving on the highway. Still, I had to park, back up, merge with traffic, etc, and no one died!

I also caught a pan on fire. We have a gas stove and oven outside our house in what is basically an enclosed porch. I had started to heat the oil and went back inside to grab something else from the kitchen. Big mistake! The oil caught fire and I had to put it out with some flour. Nothing was damaged and no one was hurt, but it definitely reminded me that this is our residence and if something goes wrong, we need to find a solution, not call on someone else to fix it.

Our outdoor kitchen

We had our first doctor visit last Sunday. E had a slight fever for a few days that just wouldn’t totally go away, so we took her to the hospital to make sure she hadn’t contracted some tropical disease. There aren’t really individual doctor’s offices here, everyone just goes to the hospital if they need to see a doctor. We were very impressed with how clean and efficient the hospital was, and how cheap it was to receive good medical care. Everyone we interacted with also spoke English, which was a relief since I didn’t know how to describe her symptoms in Thai. (Or describe anything, really, in Thai.) E just had a basic infection and is feeling much better now!

Waiting area in the pediatric clinic

This week we tried real street food for the first time. There is a market on select days at a plaza that we frequent and we bought food there for dinner. We weren’t super adventurous this time, but we do plan to go back and try some other things (i.e. fried insects) another time. The market has many individual tents and some tables behind the tents where you can sit and eat your food. We had all settled down with our individual food choices and were in the middle of eating when it started to sprinkle. This in itself is not a huge deal, but since it is rainy season we knew that it could quickly become a downpour. We scarfed as much of our food down as we could, then ran for shelter outside a nearby McDonalds. We were all pretty soaked by the time we got to our car, but we did get to see a beautiful rainbow while we waited for the downpour to let up. (Spoiler: it never did.)

Waiting out the rain at Meechok Plaza

These events and many others have helped us learn how to live like residents instead of tourists. We’re looking forward to acclimating more and more to Thai culture!

Deep Grief, Great Hope

The last week or so has been difficult for the IJM community. If you haven't heard, one of the lawyers on IJM Kenya's staff, along with his client and taxi driver, were abducted and killed following a court case at the end of June. The lawyer, Willie Kimani, was working a case of police corruption and brutality, areas which he had spent his whole legal career fighting. He was a dedicated lawyer, husband, and father, and will be dearly missed by all who knew him. The client, Josephat Mwenda, had been a victim of police abuse of power and was trying to receive justice. The taxi driver, Joseph Muiruri, was simply doing his job, which cost him his life.

The people of Kenya and the IJM community have been deeply grieving the lives of these men. This incident has sparked outrage in Nairobi over police abuse of power, which is unfortunately too common for many Kenyans. Thousands of people have come together to make sure that justice is done in this case, and that Willie, Josephat, and Joseph's deaths are not in vain. IJM is asking for people to sign a petition to ask the President of Kenya to take decisive action in this case and to remove the Deputy Inspector General of the Administration Police in Kenya, on behalf of every innocent person abused by his police force. If you haven't done so yet, please sign it here.

This case has affected me more than I anticipated. I did not know Willie personally, but I have identified with him in part because he and I are the same age and both have young children. I have been especially grieving for his wife this week as she embarks on a new life that she didn't expect, which will be significantly more difficult without her husband. The IJM family is committed to taking care of her and her children, but it will not be an easy road. There are many full-time staff, whom I do know, who, like Willie, do risky work on behalf of those who have no voice. This incident has been a chilling reminder of the reality of the threat of violence and the importance of IJM's work toward ending injustice against the poor.

Despite this great loss, IJM is not going away; they are committed to this fight because they believe that God desires justice for the world's poor and oppressed. He has called them to this fight, and they will continue in it until it is finished. They have hope that this incident will be a turning point in Kenya and that it will forever end police impunity in Nairobi.

Isaiah 61:3 says, "To all who mourn in Israel, he will give beauty for ashes, joy instead of mourning, praise instead of despair. For the LORD has planted them like strong and graceful oaks for his own glory." This verse really struck me this week as we prayed for IJM Kenya and the global IJM community. The LORD sees our grief, but He wants to give us hope because He intends for us to persevere. He has put us in this situation to bring Him glory. Pray for IJM Kenya; pray for the global IJM community. Pray for all those who are mourning, that they might receive God's joy and see Him glorified.

Settling In

We made it to Thailand!! We arrived last Wednesday and have been settling in to our new house and new job as best we can over the last few days. Many things about our house (and Thailand in general) are different than what we're used to in Indiana, but we are slowly figuring out how to best go about getting things done. We've had some conversations with the kids about using the word "different" instead of "weird" to describe things that are foreign to us, and it's been a good exercise for us all.

Over the last several days we've gotten cell phones, home internet, and a washing machine, and started the process of buying a car. We couldn't have done many of these things without a lot of help from co-workers who are teaching us to navigate Thai culture and translating on our behalf. We quickly realized that we're going to need to learn some Thai if we want to interact meaningfully with those outside of my workplace. We hope to get a tutor to teach us all some Thai soon!

Everyone we've met here has been really wonderful toward us, and we're looking forward to plugging into some community once we get some reliable transportation (hopefully this week!). We also should be able to do Skype/Facetime and email on a regular basis, so if you'd like to connect with us in those ways, just let us know! We miss you all and hope you have a great Independence Day!